Mother – The Sunshine Maker

A house is different to a home. A house is a building – a shelter, a dwelling. A home is where someone lives. Attached to a home are feelings, memories, emotions and relationships. This is why one can become homesick, when experiencing time away from home – but one never becomes “house”sick. The tone or atmosphere in each home is palpable. As we walk in the door of a home, we can usually sense the tone : tense or relaxed, loving and warm or distant and cold, orderly or chaotic, happy or miserable. Which kind of home do we feel most comfortable to visit? Which kind of home do we want ours to be? Who sets the tone?

The Tone Setter

You, dear wife and mother, have been given the wonderful privilege of setting the tone in your home. If you don’t believe me – just try it out. If you go around unsmiling, grumpy and irritable all day – observe the demeanour of your children and husband. But if you smile, and laugh and praise, watch the difference. We all know it to be true. But we seem reluctant to take hold of the responsibility. It’s hard to let go of the cloak of rushed, self-pity.

A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

Proverbs 14:1 (NLT)

We have looked briefly at this verse before, but it bears looking at once more. Really..the power of building or tearing down a house is in our own hands. What huge responsibility The Lord has granted us. And He has made us fit for purpose. In your prayer time, (Overcome Overwhelm – The first Step) ask Him for wisdom and grace to set a beautiful, gentle, joyful, unhurried atmosphere in your home each day.

I have explained how I realised, in my state of overwhelm that I was tearing my own house down. My sour face and irritable, rushed demeanour led to my husband mirroring my state of mind, and a tense, critical atmosphere. As I cried out to The Lord, he showed me how my choices and attitudes were influencing my family and affecting my home. God sees the huff and the puff. He notices the raised eyebrow. I did not want to change and I certainly did not feel like it. I felt cross, unappreciated, disrespected, overwhelmed and unseen. But I wanted to obey The Lord. So I took it to Him and with the help of The Holy Spirit, started to make a conscious decision to turn this around.

³¹ He told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. ³² Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”

Matthew 13:21-22 (NIV)

Make a tiny start. As small as a mustard seed. Lift the corner of your mouth into a smile. Give a word of praise..and soon your act of faith, your little seed, will grow into a giant tree, with its branches touching every corner of your home and family.

Some practical steps for a mustard seed start:

Light a candle after praying to remind yourself that you bring the light into your home. As moments unfold, glance at the candle to remind yourself of your resolve, and your role.

Put classical music or worship music on. This will lift your spirits, and be a cheerful and beautiful way for your family to wake up. You may have a few raised eyebrows at first. Ignore and persevere. (Interestingly, when my oldest son left home to go to the Officers Academy in the Defence Force, he continued this habit, which I started when he was 12, playing classical music in his room as he prepared for the day, much to the amusement of his mates. He took a little of “home” with him. Which really goes to show how important our choices are in the lives of our children)

Say a cheery greeting to each person as you see them.

Use many tender touches – a hug, a hand on the shoulder.

Make eye contact and smile

Ensure at least one meal a day as a family

and as these practices become more natural and comfortable, step it up..

Laugh more

Sing

Be silly every now and then

Share what God is teaching you when you have breakfast together. Show that He is important and so is His word.

Don’t reflect anyone else’s mood. Keep your joy.

There are many other ways to bring sunshine into your home. Be creative.

I kept up the candle lighting for at least 2 years. I needed the visual reminder. But I still play classical worship music in the mornings and put essential oil in a burner. This ritual reminds me of my God given responsibility. But it comes easily now. The tree has grown and the branches have spread. I have developed new habits with the help of God, and I am reaping the reward, of a home where people, like birds perching in the branches, love to be. And you can certainly reap this reward, too.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
²⁶ When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.

Proverbs 31:25 – 26 (NLT)

You can listen to the podcast on this topic, here: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/r9Qmud6MOMb