The Professional Mother

Characteristics of a professional at first glance:

• dressed for the role
• prior preparation and planning
• punctual
• organised
• scheduled start and end times, meetings, deadlines
• skilled and competent for the task
• paid and acknowledged (bonus, incentives, praise, promotion, compliments, perks)

Is motherhood a profession?

If you ask a mother – her answer will most likely be a resounding “no!”- even if only in her own head.

This is because whether we are full or part time working mothers or stay at home mothers, we sell the role of motherhood short. We fail to give it the recognition it deserves. We downplay our responsibilities and underestimate our own worth. So let’s analyse this phenomenon, and draw a final conclusion together.

A look at some professions:

• Nurse (and care workers)
• Teachers
• Cleaners
• Chefs
• Managers
• not to mention driver, gardener, rubbish remover, mediator, counsellor….

Do you recognise a little of all of these professions in your daily tasks, dear mother? Tending to fevers and wounds, caring and comforting, teaching words and safety and manners and skills, cleaning (ah yes!), planning and preparing nutritious meals (must they eat every day!?), coordinating and organising and overseeing our household…?

There are 3 main differences between the above mentioned careers and the career of being mother:

1. Typically, these roles are short term, and span at most, several decades. The role of mother is eternal.
2. These positions engage our minds, muscles and moral fibre, but do not touch on the intangible emotional bond that exists between a mother and her family. The bond that ensures we are the very best person, EVER, for the job.
3. These positions are paid. As mothers we do not receive an hourly rate, weekly wage or monthly salary. No business car, super annuation or promotions. And this, sisters is probably the essence of the issue

The essence of the issue – No Pay for Mothers

Taking care of our families and taking care of all the responsibilities involved (as mentioned above) saves money (think day care, after care, take out meals, fuel costs etc), and enables our husband to fulfil his breadwinner role effectively and confidently, knowing that all is taken care of in the home realm. But let’s ignore those obvious financial benefits for now.

Society has told us that our value and status is measured by our monetary value. And we, God-fearing mothers have bought into this unbiblical world view. But some things are priceless. And an invested, devoted mother is one of them.

Your role as mother is not “less than” because you do not bring home the bacon. It is not a “cop out”, you are not taking the “easy option”. You do not need to be riddled with guilt for “not contributing”. The benefits to mothering well are a calm and structured home. One where children feel safe and secure, and husbands can unwind and enjoy unchaotic family time. Professional motherhood nurtures close family relationships, relaxed enjoyment, and the opportunity to live alongside your children and disciple them in their moral fibre, character formation and in the growth of their knowledge and love of The Lord. You most certainly are contributing – to your husband, your children, your family as a whole and all of society for generations to come. Your payment, as mother, is not in notes and coins but in immediate and long term fruit and in eternal currency, the blessing of The Lord who has moulded you for this role, and in treasure stored up in heaven. Not to mention the eternal investment of the legacy you leave behind you. The multigenerational faith legacy that impacts the world.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

William Ross Wallace

If you are a single mother who has no option but to work, or an employed mother who made the decision prayerfully with your husband for whatever specific reason pertains to your family; I urge you to the same conclusion, that even if you work outside your home – your role as mother remains the most important. It deserves more of your time, prayer, thought and preparation than your paid job. This is a profession to which we have been truly called.

Meditate on this area. Bring it before the Lord. Identify where your thinking has taken on that of the culture around us and strayed from the biblical definition of mother.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Proverbs 31:28-29

“JUST a mother”

As mothers we damage the general perception of our own life work because we perceive it wrongly in our minds. We think it is a role subservient to others and we down play it. What we think in our minds becomes evident in the lack of respect we show ourselves within our calling. Our own lack of respect for our position allows others to disrespect motherhood. The buck stops with us.

We must change our own view of motherhood at a deep heart and soul level, in order to give our profession the credit it deserves. And this is the purpose of this post. Once we grasp the full, intense and supernatural importance of our work, and raise the level of our profession in our own eyes, we will treat our position with respect which will in turn, demand respect from those around us. Motherhood is respect worthy.

Do you say “I’m just a mother?”

If you are an employed mum, do you mention your paid job and neglect to mention the role of mother (the most all consuming work there is!) These words show our thoughts which reflect our hearts. We need to truly change our heart perception and align it with The Lord’s.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:4-5

The practices of The professional Mother

As we start to appreciate the importance of our role more, let’s relook at the list of characteristics of a professional and see how these pertain to motherhood. The goal is to reframe our thinking by embracing these practices to help us internalise and portray that we are, in fact, skilled professionals, chosen deliberately for our work, and our diligence in our field holds eternal consequences.

1. Dress for the role – Staying at home for the most part of the day is no reason to stay in pyjamas, or wear our baggiest, saggiest stretched and worn clothing. We respect ourselves by being clean and neat. Choose a “uniform” for home. Specially select simple dresses, neat shorts and T- shirts or whatever suits your comfort and style. The aim is that you feel attractive and well kept and so that when you have an unexpected visit you don’t feel embarrassed to meet the person at the door. (This is how I learned the lesson!) On the days that I went in to teach, I would ensure I took effort with my appearance. We show respect to our profession and those around us by taking a bit of care. We also show our children to take care in their presentation.
2. Prior Preparation and Planning – I can talk from a teaching perspective, which is a little extreme in its planning intensity. But most professionals know what the day looks like; where they need to go, who they have to meet and what they have to do. As mothers we need to pre-think our day. Jot down your plan. Bring it before the Lord. Hold it loosely. Allow His interruptions. It is your servant and not your master. And remember, that just as plans go awry for those in the workplace, they will for you, too. The challenge is in moving forward in the new direction knowing God is in control.
3. Punctuality– A work day has a start and finish time. Meetings are at set times, and one is expected to be timeous. Whilst our days most definitely don’t have set start and finish times, we can aim to be punctual. We show respect for others when we are on time and this training starts at home. Try to have times for getting up, meals, school if homeschooling, chores etc. You are equipping your children to become familiar with how long things take, and how to navigate time. It’s a necessary skillset and an important one to teach.
4. Organisation – An office, classroom or workshop is characterised by a certain level of organisation, so that everything is accessible and obtainable for all people at all times. A smoothly running household is what results when we are organised. Have a place for everything and train your family to put everything in its place. Tackle organising things with your children so that they have ownership and understand what you are trying to accomplish. Declutter and simplify so that it is easier to stay organised. (I will write more practical tips for being organised, separately.)
5. A Schedule – Have a schedule for your day and week. Discuss it with your husband. Try to do everything you need to do in town on one day, if possible. Block off homeschooling time, family time, church and Bible Study time and treat it as sacred. We do not expect someone who works full day to join us for tea, or to “pop around”. Likewise we must have strict boundaries around our schedule, showing respect for our work and demanding others respect our work hours also. This helps us not to overcommit and avoid becoming overwhelmed when we are out every day and falling behind on schoolwork, laundry, housework and grocery shopping.
6. Skilled and Competent for the Job – Don’t underestimate yourself, dear mother. You may not have a university degree or college diploma..but then I don’t remember seeing either of those mentioned in the Bible! But you have been assigned this task by the highest level CEO, The Sovereign Lord, himself. I guess He thinks you have what it takes. He has called you, and He will equip you.

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Philippians 2:13

The Misperception

Granted, there are those who fail to see the value of investing fully in motherhood. With Quota systems trying to place more women in the work place, as a whole – in our culture, motherhood has been devalued. But on the most part, it is we mothers ourselves, who denigrate our role, our skills and our calling. I struggled immensely with this. No matter how busy I was in the house or with the children, I felt I was doing nothing because it wasn’t “real work”. And I projected these feelings onto my husband, presuming he was thinking I was doing “nothing” because I wasn’t out doing more farm work. What I was doing didn’t “count” in my eyes. And I expected those around me to think the same. Which made me frantic to complete my mothering tasks so I could do the real tasks. But of course this was completely overwhelming (as discussed in Overcome Overwhelm – The first Step). I had to do exactly what I’ve written about here. Get the Lord’s perspective on my role. When I discussed it with my husband, he was amazed at my thought process. “I just don’t see it that way,” he said. He did not think I was doing “nothing”. In fact he was pleased I had things under control. My point is that when we undermine our profession in our own eyes, we presume others are undermining it in their minds too. And this is the deception of Satan.

The pursuit of significance

I have met many mothers who are eager to get back to work, even though finances don’t require it. Others who are taking on university courses or loading their plates with all kinds of interesting, even excellent activities. And none of that is wrong. In fact, it could be very right – if done for the right reasons. Often, though, we are merely searching for significance because we fail to recognise the significance of what we have right before us. A more than full time career, with untold demands and challenging situations. My hope is that you ruminate on all this. Pray. And examine carefully your own motives for your pursuits.

Motherhood is, indeed, a profession

Society as a whole, pivots on the health of the family. The husband, under the Lord’s direction, is the head of the home. He leads and we, as mothers, help him. We help by managing our homes well, and caring for our children, ensuring that we take our God given role seriously in the role of creating a cohesive, safe home environment to nurture young souls for their eternal future. No one can have the impact we can have, when we are there to disciple them day by day. In our careers away from home, we are ALWAYS replaceable. But in our homes, we are irreplaceable. Your children need, and want you..and will all the way through adulthood – if the relationship has been established. You are God’s instrument to work with Him, guided by The Holy Spirit to mould and shape characters and create tender hearts that follow after Him single-mindedly. The work we do in our home influences generations to come, exponentially growing, and impacting society as a whole. I pray for this legacy.

A significant, irreplaceable position, with eternal rewards – look no further. Are you ready to take up your profession, mother?