My homeschooling journey

A personal story

As a young teacher, I held a bit of a trumped up view of my role, and of the education system as a whole. Homeschooling was uncommon in my social circle, and the one or two children who came into the school system after being “homeschooled” did not make much impact on my view on homeschooling. I didn’t merely think homeschooling wasn’t a good idea – I frowned upon it…and shamefully, I attached all the stereotypical labels of “hill-billy”, “unsocialised” and “irresponsible” to homeschooling. Well, I came to realise I was very WRONG! (definitely not the first or last time!)

This is how I made a 180 degree about turn in my thinking.

Early schooling

Our oldest sons began their early schooling in South Africa. We then moved to Australia and they went into a lovely state school. After getting settled, we decided that we would prefer a Christian education, and so a year and a half after they started at the state school, we moved them to a beautiful Christian school. Another year and a half later, my husband – a chartered civil and structural engineer – who was successfully working for a high calibre firm in the city, began to question how he was spending his days and all the time spent commuting and away from us, his family. He left home in the dark, and arrived home after dark. Weekends had become a blur of sports, home maintenance and getting essential things done before the work week started once more. He felt a tug to change direction and go farming. He had always wanted to farm and felt it would give him more time with his sons, and be a better lifestyle for us, all around.

No farming land existed near where we lived, and I was loathe to pull our children out of school once more. They had already been in 3 schools in 3 years, and I was happy with the school that they were at, and so I resisted. He accepted my position, but the pull to change direction was strong and after seeing him search for farming opportunities night after night, I was forced to consider his desires and how The Lord was evidently leading him. The only solution that would work (to my mind), if we were to move, was to keep the children at home for 6 months, homeschool them, check out the area and schools and then decide where to send them. I reasoned that this would be more stable for them than yet another house and school change. My husband was happy with this compromise.

The hunt for a farm began in earnest, and we soon bought a macadamia farm and moved house, and took the children out of school. We had never farmed, and we didn’t know a single other homeschooling family at this time and so we plunged into completely unchartered territory as a family.

6 months of homeschooling…and beyond

I found a Christian school nearby that offered distance education, and we enrolled. Work was sent and I oversaw it, we sent it back. A teacher was assigned to the boys and would call them periodically to give them feedback or find out how they were going. We set up a daily structure and transitioned happily. The boys loved being at home (and being able to go to the toilet whenever they wanted). I loved being involved, and I could see that they were accomplishing a lot more than what I could see in the books they had brought back from school earlier in the year. On most days, they were completely finished their allocated work by noon, and spent the rest of the day helping us on the farm or playing. It was simple, uncomplicated and worked, and we felt it worth pursuing. We didn’t see the point in having a farm, and have our children away at school all day. So we decided to continue.

At this point, I was really enjoying the homeschool/distance education experience, but still on a kind of superficial level. We were getting the job done well. But oh my! Educating your children at home is just so much more than that!

More children – more home education

As we welcomed foster children into our family, we transitioned them to schooling at home. I homeschooled 5 or 6 children at a time. Some of them from the very beginning…and my oldest sons – all the rest of the way through. Through this process, homeschooling my children grew from being a great way to get school done, to being an absolute passion in my life. I began to read more about homeschooling, listen to podcasts of mothers who had gone before me, truly question the schooling system, and compare what I knew of classroom learning to what I was seeing unfolding before me. I came to love educating and facilitating the education of my children My eyes were opened to all the wonders we experienced, being a homeschooling family.

The wonders of homeschooling:

• As parents, we get to spend more time with our children, taking hold of the opportunity to live life alongside them and truly disciple them in the day to day.
• Christ as Creator is key to everything we learn about and Bible education can be given the time it deserves
• School and home life become fully integrated. What is learned is discussed in the family and applied and referred to in everyday life. Bible learning can happen as a family, with robust conversation and family prayer time. Books can be read aloud for the whole family to enjoy and to have discussions about for years afterwards.
• Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your own child enables you to push them where they need pushing, and back off where they need less pressure and more time.
• Learning difficulties and attention deficits can be catered for in a way that makes the child feel intelligent and successful.
• Character training and value teaching are valued as much, if not more than, academic training
• We can train the “soft skills”(independence, perseverance, tenacity, problem solving, resilience, co-operation, communication etc) which are so necessary in all areas of life.
• We can be selective about what our children spend time learning.
• We can be flexible in including real life events into our learning (the building of a road nearby or house next door, the growing of vegetables, the farm down the road, the felling of a tree, the removal of bees etc.)
• Our children get free time in a world that promotes busyness. Time to help them rest and relax, time to explore their own interests and hobbies, time to spend alone or together, and unguided, unhurried time to learn their passions and gifting, and their strengths and weaknesses.
• Family relationships are nurtured as we spend time alongside one another and siblings develop a close bond as they help one another with school work, complete projects together, and play together.
• It is an unhurried lifestyle which is a balm for the souls of our children in a fast paced world
• A love of learning is nurtured when the experience is enjoyable and not pressure filled.
• We have more time for church friends and family and recreational activities.

The misconceptions of homeschooling

• I have to be a teacher. No you don’t. Most homeschooling parents are not teachers and have successfully educated their children. In fact, not being a teacher frees you from the burden of trying to recreate a school at home – which is not the aim.
• I need to know EVERYTHING so that I can teach my children. Well that’s impossible. So no. Not true. Instead, we model that learning is a joy and a lifelong enterprise and we learn along with our children. Help can easily be found when needed. God provides people and opportunities when we take it to Him.
• I can only homeschool for the primary years. High school has to be done at a school. Wrong again. High school is completely do-able at home. In fact it does away with all the social pressures and allows your child to follow their own interests, strengths and skills. As parents we have an interest and can, with The Lord’s leading, be ever so creative with career options for our children. Subjects which we view as difficult are often not difficult for the high schooler who has an interest in them, and help is always at hand in the form of others who are strong in these subjects, or on You Tube. As our children mature, their love of learning and sense of purpose means that they take over responsibility for their education and our role becomes facilitator.
• Homeschooled kids are lacking in social skills. Some are. And so are very many in the school system. But yours won’t be. Being involved in a church family, youth group, neighbourhood and being intentional about getting together with other families will give your children ample social skills. Social skills also need to be taught, and who better to teach them, than you – the parents as you supervise social interactions and model them yourself. It is a myth that having a child in a classroom of 20 other children is a way of socialising them. It depends on the aim of your socialisation, I guess. Most of the things the other children do, are not examples you would want your child to follow anyway. Children do not need to hang out in huge crowds to know how to socialise. They need to know who they are and have secure attachments. Playing with siblings, cousins and one or two other children is completely adequate. I preferred having a choice in who was influencing my children. With my younger children, it was very easy to connect with local Christian homeschooling groups via Facebook. Homeschooling is also so much more popular now, which is wonderful, so meeting with like minded families is not difficult at all.
• Homeschooling isn’t for academic achievers. My oldest son went through a stringent selection process for the officers training academy in the Australian defence force. He was selected and one of the things that helped in his selection was the fact that he was homeschooled. Homeschooled children experience success because they have learned to have discipline in their own learning. He is studying his second university degree at the moment, and my second son is a commercial pilot. Definitely, academic achievement is supported by homeschooling. Academic achievement is, however, certainly not an indicator of success. A connected relationship with our Saviour, and a well rounded education, enabling healthy functioning in the work place and within society would be worthy of striving for.
• Homeschooling will take up all my time. Homeschooling is a serious commitment and time must be faithfully dedicated to it. But you can and should set an end time. My children knew I was off duty in the classroom at lunchtime. Whatever they had not done in that time needed to be finished without my assistance (I’ll go into my structure in a separate post). When your children have had your undivided attention for half the day, they are generally perfectly happy to be independent for the rest of the day. My afternoon was for laundry, housework or farm work. And their afternoon was for helping, chores, free time and hobbies.

The benefits

The longer I homeschooled my children, the more passionate I became about it. I partnered with the Lord, asking Him to reveal to me where I need to put more or less emphasis. I began thinking things through more carefully. More critically. Throwing out what I didn’t deem necessary and allowing more time for the things I saw were essential. I re-evaluated many of the age old patterns passed down traditionally and discarded what didn’t make sense. I began putting the relationships first, building connections and becoming students of my children so I could facilitate their learning as best I could. Our relationships in our family are close and we love to do things together. Our children are walking with The Lord and we still enjoy family prayer time and devotions together. Our children have so many interests, skills and hobbies and are well adjusted and compassionate. It is wonderful to look back and know that we invested fully in the lives of our children. They are children for such a very short time, and we have so many skills to pass on for fully functioning, independent adulthood.

What my family say:

“I am so thankful for all the free time I had while homeschooling. I learned that I was really good at doing things with my hands. I also had a lot of time to learn skills while helping my dad. Welding, machining metal and my mechanical knowledge means I always have a project on the go, but it has also helped in my new career as a pilot. Knowing I wanted to be a pilot, meant that we could really tailor make my high school courses to suit. So I only studied what was relevant and necessary.” 2nd son

“I did not enjoy school growing up, but homeschooling wasn’t even really considered back then. Seeing how much our children enjoyed what they were learning, and seeing the wonderful life balance they had made me wish I had that opportunity growing up. I am really glad to have had all those moments with our children which would have otherwise been taken up with school.” Nic – husband/father

“Being homeschooled allowed me to think critically of the status quo and not just go along with what everyone else is doing. It also enabled me to develop in my own time and not according to a school’s predetermined pace. Homeschooling allowed me to feel comfortable with a diverse age range of people instead of only mixing with peers in my same age category. I also think that it enabled me to discover who I am and pursue my interests separate to anyone around me. Having time just to play and not being in a rush was really valuable” Eldest son

Your journey..

If you are questioning whether this is the route God has for your family, I recommend visiting Durenda Wilson’s website https://www.durendawilson.com, and listening to her podcasts. She also has 2 wonderful books:The Four Hour School Day https://www.durendawilson.com/product-page/the-four-hour-school-day and The Unhurried Homeschooler https://www.durendawilson.com/product-page/the-unhurried-homeschooler. I also found great value in the book by Sarah Mackenzie, Teaching from Rest https://readaloudrevival.com/rest/ which is also available on audio.

My advice is to pray, research and question. The Lord will lead you for your specific family. You are unique, after all.