It’s one thing we all understand. When all you see around you is an endless sea of endless tasks, people, chores – all screaming for your immediate attention. What to do first? When can I find time to do it? I have my baby on my hip, dishes in the sink, washing that needs to be on the line, cat vomit on the carpet, a meal that needs to be made, and an eddy of dust and dog hair swirling along the edge of the skirting boards.
It’s that constant feeling of failure. I’m not measuring up. I have no idea how to do any of it. I’m in over my head.
Mother – stop! You are not alone. We have ALL been in this place. This is a common place for mothers to find themselves because we CARE! Because we desperately want to do a good job – and yet for all our best intentions, we just can’t seem to pull it off.
I talk of my season of being completely overwhelmed in this podcast episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/tGT31IGc9Jb
When I had 6 children 13 and under, with a house to clean, farm-work to do, and homeschooling to facilitate, I was in this very place. And I’m sad to say – it stole my peace. I did not do overwhelm well. I snapped at everyone around me, wallowed in a nest of self-pity, and lost all sense of joy. Of course, this did absolutely no favours for our marriage, and our once close relationship started to take serious strain.
Let’s face it – this is EXACTLY where Satan wants us.
John 10:10 tells us “The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy”.
He does not want us to succeed in bringing up God fearing children in a peaceful, God honouring home! I was no longer able to sleep well at night and spent many hours crying out to the Lord.
One morning while milking our cows, I turned on a podcast – Joyce Meyer.https://www.joycemeyer.org Morning after morning, I listened as she spoke practically about spending time in the Word, and allowing God to lead.
Growing up in an atheist family, I became a Christian at the age of 15 when I attended a youth group rally. A regular church goer, and Bible study group attendee, my love for the Lord was still as strong as the day I gave my life, but I had not learned the importance of a regular time with the Lord. After listening to Joyce Meyer’s podcast for a number of mornings, in the dairy shed, all by myself, I became convicted that I was indeed tearing my house down with my own hands, like the foolish woman in Proverbs 14:1. I needed to put the Lord first and spend time in His word each morning.
“A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”
Proverbs 14:1
Anyone with children knows that this is more easily said than done! Children wake up very early and are very demanding. But I was determined. I discussed my intention with my husband and asked for his support. I began to set my alarm and wake up at 5 am. I would make coffee and sit down in the lounge with my Bible. As each little person drifted through, I gave them a cuddle, told them I was having quiet time and put them in front of the TV with an approved series. As we don’t do much screen time in our home, this worked well. (a younger baby could be put on the breast while you read, or if Dad is still home and possibly in bed – this little one could be tucked in with him).
I realised as I started my dedicated time, that I wasn’t sure what to read, so I just picked a book in the New Testament and read a little. Some days, one or two sentences would be it! Something in those sentences would grab me, and convict me, and I would stop and meditate and pray. I also realised that I have a very wandering mind. I easily became distracted…thinking about what to cook for lunch, or what jobs needed attention. I started to journal in order to keep focused. Quite simply, I would write the date, the passage reference for the Bible text, copy out all or a part of the scripture read, and jot down any thoughts or prayers. This would take between 15 minutes to half an hour.
9 years later, I still follow this little ritual. I have missed a day or 2 but probably no more than 10 in all that time. Because what started as a discipline became an absolute necessity…and then a passionate love. There is nothing more exciting than my early morning meeting with The Lord.
As I spent time in His Word, and being still every morning in His presence, over time, I began to feel convicted on a number of fronts.
- The Lord led me to take time to think carefully about His priorities for my days. What was important to him?Overcoming Overwhelm – Step 2
- The Lord showed me my identity was placed incorrectlyOvercoming Overwhelm – Step 3
- He reminded me of the importance of my role in the home as the tone setter.Mother – The Sunshine Maker
- The Lord reminded me that He takes care of all my needs and fills my cup.He fills my cup
- He led me to do a couple of things each morning that set me up for success.The Professional Mother
- He led me to confront the sin in my life – namely self-pity and pride!Look for the doughnut (instead of the hole)
- He led me to be clearer in my communicationhttps://therefinedmother.com/they-cant-read-your-mind/
- He led me to ask for and accept help.https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/XzMq5e6MOMb
I plan to go into each of these further in my next blog posts. But, dear mother, how I would love for you to start to take this first step. Plan time with The Lord, in His Word daily. He will show you how to juggle it better, which “balls” to put down, and which to keep up.
I have had these conversations with young mothers before, and the thought alone is overwhelming to them. But I want to be blunt with you, in love: DO you believe in The Lord? No. I mean REALLY? Do you believe that He is the author and perfecter of our faith? That He is our “All in All”? That everything on earth that we do, see, think or experience is all about HIM? Then why are we trying to leave Him out of it? Why are we trying to do it all alone? How do we know what to do, if not for sitting at His knee daily, and hearing directly from Him? The one who knows us and our children better than we know ourselves? The one who loves us and our children inconceivably?
Yes, I get it – it feels like one more thing to do – but it does not have to be this way.
Once The Lord is in His rightful place – first in your day and first in your life, everything else will fall onto place:
“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.”
Matt 6:33 Amplified Bible
But how?
Make up your mind, and get serious, dear friend.
“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” James 1:8 (KJV)
If your husband is home in the early mornings, enlist his help. My husband would happily have the children climb into bed with him and he could doze while they tickled his back or “drew” pictures on it.
As mentioned earlier, this could be designated screen time for the day. I’m not a fan of screen time, so because it didn’t happen often, the children were thrilled to have this time. Even very young children are often happy to lie on the couch with their siblings in the early morning and drink a bottle or from a sippy cup.
Newborn and very small babies have a timetable of their very own. Holding them and reading, or listening to the “Verse of the day” talk on You Version Bible app (free)https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/, or listening to the audio Bible is a good option. If journaling is impossible, pray aloud over the head of your precious baby. Praying aloud helps to keep you focussed.
Early morning is most definitely first prize. It ensures we give the first fruits to The Lord and have some time to reflect before the craziness begins. But in the season you are in…this may have to change to a different time of day, like baby’s nap time or before you go to bed at night. If you find this works better – write a little message for yourself to read when you wake up, to remind yourself of what God laid on your heart.
With my older children – from 4 up – if they awoke before 6 am, they could get up and go to the toilet, but then they knew to hop back into bed until 6 and read. This worked brilliantly as it gave them designated reading time in the morning. Children who cannot yet read can spend the time looking at picture books. Spending time quietly, alone, is a great skill to teach children. They learn to enjoy this quiet start to the day.
Because our days don’t often go to plan, be prepared for there to be days when it just doesn’t work. Make peace with that. This is time we want to seek The Lord. It must not become our idol. A cranky mother stomping around because her quiet time didn’t work out will not make the day any easier, and it certainly won’t please The Lord.
The benefits
Not only will setting up a routine quiet time each day help you begin to address your overwhelm, it will enable you to align your will with The Lord’s. This tiny fraction of time in The Word will be a civilised start to the day. A day you have prayed over. A day you will step into, holding His hand. And, Mother …your children are watching…and learning.
“Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly” Psalm 5:3 (NLT)
