Raising Teenagers in a changing world – Part 2
Communication
In this Gem I want to focus on on listening and keeping communication lines open with your teenager.
As I have said previously, I have spent some time with each of my sons asking about their teenage years and also their experiences in guiding their own children through this period. I was a little disappointed when one of my sons said, “Mum, sometimes I felt like you weren’t really listening. I would have liked to have shared more but you were always busy.” I probably had thought I was listening even though I kept on peeling the vegetables or whatever I was doing. I now know that good listening skills require us to give the person our undivided attention and let them know that we’ve heard them by making eye contact, nodding, asking questions etc.
Yes, no parent will always do everything right, but God knows the intentions of our hearts, and somehow continues to bless our families despite our mistakes.
I wasn’t a complete failure at listening to my sons! I recall one son in his early twenties, with a twinkle in his eye asking me one night to come and “tuck him in”—a tradition we’d established when they were little. Actually he wanted to let me know he was planning to propose to his girlfriend and wanted me to help him plan to make it a memorable experience.
In recent years, I’ve noticed the special bond my 19 year old granddaughter has with her parents and I asked her if she would share some reflections that would be helpful for parents of teenagers. Here they are:
“My parents took time to listen and understand what we were going through without judgement. They put high importance on communication, which helped me to feel seen and understood as I was going through my teenage years. This helped me to feel less alone and helped to strengthen my relationship with my parents.“
There’s a lot more has been written about this topic, but I’d like to finish with a quote from Daniel Wong—a teen coach who specialises in helping teens thrive and who shows parents what they can do to help
“When things are hectic, the present moment is all we ever have. Seize the day! Don’t let the days race by without spending quality time with your teen.”
Another quote from him—”Listen more, speak less. “
May God bless you as you seek His help in guiding your children through their teen years.
Grandma Adele
